grace..

oh Lord! thank you for answering my prayer..in helping me to experience grace. truly, it's only when you start to give grace, you know grace. on top of that, you showed me what kind of grace you are actually showing mankind; me!

grace, mercy, sacrificial, forgiveness, acceptance...love! = Your nature and character

thank you Lord!

finally!

i was trying to call somebody for a few times already but always nobody pick up. i tried in the morning...ring ring..nobody answer...long time you know...afternoon...ring ring...nobody answer again...nevermind...evening try again....ring ring..STILL no one answer! wah lau-eh! NEVERMIND! so i try the next day lo...morning..ring ring...no one answered :/ was a a bit sien d lo...afternoon..ring rii....'hello'...wah!! FINALLY!! wah..i was like happy man! woo hoo...so we chatted bout something...mana tau :(

the person who answered the phone ask me to call back the next day for my question to be answered :/ sigh...so today is the day lo...hopefully i won't have to wait and wait for a few more days for it la...

:) Good day to all of you!

Pumped up!!

i was driven! i was ready! i was all for it! i was sold out for it! i was ready to rumble!!!!!

but why i WAS..?!?! :/

the problem with me is i get all excited the night before but when the sunrises and when my eyes meet the sunlight (or maybe the ceiling in my room), it's all gone! ppffsstt..!! sayonara! what the heck?! i have had lots of experience like this before already. the night before, all pumped and ready to go at it like a hungry lion but when sunrise comes.. :/ it's as though i slept walk to have early breakfast and wakes up all flat..flatter than a flat worm!

sigh!! why?! whY?! wHY?! WHY?!

i so see it as my vision! i so see it as my goal in life! i so see it as my ministry! i so see it.....nevermind... :/

i hope that was something normal and usual and it's faced by all people. those who dreamt it big for God, those who dreamt it big for themselves..i hope they had experiences like mine. i'd like to know that great men with great dreams and vision hung in there. they were traveling alone on that small and narrow road...but they never gave up! they never lose focus! they stick to it EVEN when it seems like it's all gone!

can i be like that?!

Lord, only You know..take it as prayer from me, my Saviour!

monkeys....

What is more irritating than ignorant monkey bikers who ignored the traffic rules? THOSE WHO HONKED AT OTHERS WHO OBEYED THE TRAFFIC RULES WHILE THEY BREAK IT!!

real mokeys! i was waiting patiently for the traffic light to turn green and this idiot biker honk me from behind asking me to 'knia-la (jalan-lah)'. What a real jerk! good thing my window was down and i reacted by scolding him back 'ang hueyh-la. beh hiau knua ar?! (red light-la. can't see ar?!)'

FOOH! i was fired up man! :/ all along i already cannot take ignorant ppl who just speed or slowly zoom pass the red light and now this monkey!! wah lau-eh....

this ppl need more than advertisements and education to wake them up..they need real accident while committing the offence to learn..and i hope they learn!

we won!

this entree is dedicated to the youth of Penang Christian Centre - the ISCAlites '06! namely Team A; Marcus Pan, Sarah Choong, Lim Oon Feng & Team B; Benedict, Joshua Ooi, Yvonne Yeoh.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

much time and effort has been put in from them to emerge as champions and 1st runner-up this year in the YMCA 17th Bible Quiz!

Most of all! to their beloved coach.....WILSON OOI! i think he did a fantabulous job in training and coaching these 2 teams.

thank God for ppl like him and them!

God bless! And may we continue to win again in the year 2007!!

just a thought...

why is it that women always like surprises and men always hate them?
Because men always end up being the loser!

well, maybe not always but most of the time. if men, come up with anything less surprising, women will say, what else?, not surprising enough! if too surprising,...men will have to come up with a lot to make it happen :) so it's a lose-lose situation for men..

LOSER!

i dun FEEL nice wor... :/

A: everytime i go the Bible..i FEEL very dirty wor....
B: hhmm.....(thinking...)
A: everytime i pray..i FEEL very uncomfortable...
B: hhmm....(thinking...)
A: i FEEL like God is out to get me and He will ask me to do things that i don't like or keep questioning me!!
B: hhmm...(thinking...)
A: eh, say something la!
B: :p well, that's how you FEEL only ma..but is it the truth and fact?
A: hhmm...(thinking...)
B: our feelings can be very misleading and some may even claim that to be from the Holy Spirit! no doubt that can be a type of prompting but more often than not, our FEELINGS are dangerous. we have to make sure that it is based on truth and fact.
A: hhmm...(thinking...)
B: we cannot say we FEEL like today is...a Sunday (lame) where it's a Friday
A: hhmm...(thinking...)
B: eh, say something la!
A: well, true also la
B: marsi like that lo...the truth and fact is..Jesus HAS DIED for US and that makes us righteous in God's sight and so we need to feel scared, useless, dirty, whatever -ve stuff like that la when we approach God 1. why? because the establish fact is we are MADE righteous already! if you accept and continue to accept, means you cannot un-do it d :)
A: hhhmmm...(thinking...)
B: :/ understand?

- of coz it's easier to say but hard to practice. we have the truth and truly, the truth really does set people free! but not merely having the truth up in our heads only..it needs to be down in our hearts and really doing it.

sigh..Lord, how only can i myself really practice it?!

what if....?

what if..i am selfish in my decision?
what if..i stayed back instead?
what if..i leave but still doing what i would see myself doing in the future?
what if..i just go back to where i was from?
what if....ok..they are actualy not so many 'what ifs'..i just wanted to lengthen it :/

Lord, you know i want to do Your will..you know i have only 1 life and honest to the core, i want to live a life that will be meaningful and impacting others. but what about my time now? do i need a time off to reorganize myself? do i need the time off to straighten my thoughts and priorities. i feel like i've gone off tangent but have i really gone off? or is it simply some minor hardships that i'm going through?

lord, when is it that being selfish in decision making not selfish? or is there even such a thing? how can i live the kind of life where i enjoy what i'm doing without the unnecessary pressure? :/

these are just my thoughts and don't build a theology on it...

what to do when people does not seem to understand?

what can be done? what should be done? you are in the position to do something wor...keep quiet and hope that they will know? say something and risk the chances of flaring up and cost the relationship?

(ppsstt...how about saying it out properly until they know? and be patient?)

say nia la!! you think so easy meh?! this is some more not the 1st time..it's dunno how many repeated times d..1st 1st like that still can keep cool but so many times d wor...ok la..but so many times i mean...maybe 5-6 times la..but it's really a lot d le :/

so what to do when people does not seem to understand? :/

give your best

give your best...GIVE your best... give YOUR best...give your BEST!!

A: so give to who and give wat?
B: give to God lo....
A: but give what?
B: whatever you are doing and where you are placed...give it your best to God...
A: ya la..say easy la..do that time leh..hard you know..
B: ........(silent).....

well, that's the prob..i want to give God my best! i want to worship Him with all that i have and am! but how?! how can i when i look around and the situation is so depressing! i want to give God my best, carry on doing whatever i'm doing with the best attitude, fully relying on Him and knowing that all things are at His hand and He is sovereign and knows what's going on.

but...but...sigh....

i guess i think too much and taken control on too many things when i know i should be leaving ALL to Him :/ i guess i'm slowly beginning to realise what it means to lay it all at His feet. what awaits is the actual doing of it..

thank you Lord!

wait wait wait...

and yes, i'm still waiting...so hurry up la!! haiyor...

why?

well..i have to be careful with what i say coz i can't be ignorant that there might be ppll reading my blog. i don't want ppl to speculate too much and read too much in between the lines sometimes and this entry is one of it.

like i've mentioned, i desperate need an evaluation of my life and how am i to go about it? i've learned before that spitiuality is not all about 'You and God'. rather it is all directional..you and God, you and man and you and yourself! if i want to be a better person, a spiritual person, a person that properly represent Christ, i have to ensure that all 3 areas noted are being taken care of!

me and God. how well is it progressing? is it even progressing or it's declining? :(
me and others. do others see Christ in me or am i just like one of the millions? :(
me and me. jf'gojdf'gadgj'm.........yes, you see it right! confusion inside of me :(

seems like nothing seems to be right and in order. what do you do when you have a life that's like that?

my life so far...

i guess it's about time that a thorough evaluation of my life is to be done. 25 d man!! quarter of a century old d!! old hack!! :p anyway, life has almost cruised me by and what have i done? achieved? acquired? whatever else...??

:( like i've mentioned, i have only 1 life to live..what do i want to do with it? what's the best course of action that i should take and chart? 1 of my motto in life is not to have regretable actions that will greatly affect those around me, those that i love and cherish. i dun mind myself suffering the consequences. i know that could be a wishful thinking as an action will sure affect more than myself :/

oh well, do i have wat it takes now to have a thorough evaluation of my life? do I?

life..oh life...oh liiiiiffee..oh life...(to the tune of desree - or something like that :p)

life? can anybody actually explain wat's that? as in like..why live? why? really...is finding money all? or a loving life partner? or is life meant for jolly? drink all night, indulge in sex as you like it, work for all the money you can, climb the corporate ladder, be the most powerful person you can ever be? is life all these?

ppl have said..'we've only 1 life, live it to the fullest'. wat's the fullest? who defines it? ourselves? others? so is life meant to be doing wat we just want to do as long as those around us whom we love are not affected?

honestly! if life is not any or all of those, then wat is it?

i guess it's a question we all will eventually ask ourselves one day and someday and a decision has to be made..inevitably :) enjoy life's journey!

The place...

A: eeyyeeaarrr...why you go this kinda place 1?
B: why? wat's wrong with this kinda place?
A: no la..so many 'that kind' of people?
B: wat? wat 'that kind' of people?
A: no la..you go there, ppl drink, ppl smoke, ppl come and disturb you..(on and on....)
B: ....so?
A: so? so why you go this kinda place lo?
B: why? wat's wrong with this kinda place?
A: so many 'that kind' of people la?
B: wat? wat 'that kind' of people?
A: ppl drink, ppl smoke, ppl come and disturb you..(on and on....)
B: ....so?
A: :/
B: ??
A: :(
B: :/ okie la....sorry!

(to be continued...maybe)