the news is out to the top...

well, now that the top has knew about it :/ nothing much seems to have changed. anyway, still waiting for an answer. THE answer! sigh...faster la wei..why so slow 1?! sien lo..

i can relate to you PC3...at least with regards to this song..

Oh God, i'm weary of running
The things i do don't have your blessings..

Lord, please forgive me :( how much of stupid mistake can you take from me? i'm feeble and weak but i still want to do it my own way..sigh...stubborn me!

Lord, I wonder how much of me do you know? Your word says everything but it's for me to comprehend :( make it come to life Lord, make it come to life!

Lord, I need your grace and mercy..i need to pray like never before...
i don't just want to 'feel' it but i really want to experience..really really know what it means so that i can extend the same kind of grace to others :(

Lord, if i were to go, how will things be? will you be angry and be frustrated at me? will you be so upset at me and won't want to be be with me? again, Your Word says you won't but make it come to live Lord, make it come to life!

Lord, i feel so selfish and taking your goodness and grace for granted :( i'm so walking in the flesh and not according to Your Spirit. what am i to do now Lord? what am i to do?

will i be able to utter a sincere 'i love you, Lord' with my actions? only you know Lord, only you know..........

kinda fix!

well, that is at least on my side :/
it sucks to be hangin' in the middle position...

It's nothing like it!

life's boring! sien! or in a more proper English sentence "What on Earth am I here for?"

well, honestly, life's really boring because nothing can really satisfy us. money? we'll never get enough of it though nobody is complaining of having more of it. pleasure? same reasoning. power? again..same reasoning as well! i'm reminded of this joke..guys do suffer from PMS too! :) Power, Money and Sex..

we will never get enough of it! we want more! more, more and more....it's all about acquiring more! the more the better...and yet at the end of the day..we won't find fulfillment in it :/

though i've never really experienced PMS yet..i'm begining to have the symptom of it...power? not like i'm searching for it, money...this i'm having a problem...sex? can't wait to get married!! :p

my point is..i guess we can really only find fulfillment in life if we have a purpose in life. ok, not wanting to sound too cliche~ish..but it's true..unless you are fulfilling your purpose in life..it's really meaningless to live life. as for me, doing what God wants me to do is my purpose..at least a general 1. i'm still praying and asking for a specific purpose for my life..therefore, Lord, please hear my prayer :)

thank You Lord!

wah..how come like that?!

wah..i want to strive but am halted..i want to excel but dunno how..i want to move on but am hindered :(

why?! what's the missing link?

SIEN AR!!!!!!!!

Seeing 'scanning incoming messages'...woo hoo!

wow! I SURVIVED! hah! who would have thought! :p well, office's internet connection was down for a couple of days and i was wondering..if i could 'survive' through it or not and hey! i did! haha..of coz not the literal surviving or not but..nevermind..

seems like this new 'engine' is serving me well and the torque is really good..after a while of not blogging i still have what it takes to blog ;) not bad, man..not bad at all...

couple of things on my mind now but need to do some defragmenting 1st before another entry..so in the meantime..take care and God bless!

remember, a fruit a day keep makes your lousy day a holiday!

i rushed!

was suppose to be in church today by 10.45am for a funeral and i woke up at 10.35am ;) and i rushed! was late of coz..but thank God the funeral was later than me :p nevermind, i'll spare you the details..therefore i have the time now to blog about it :)

sometimes i wonder if it is healthy to rush through our lives. (ya, it's a seperate matter) i've been told that you will miss the nice scenaries, greens, people that deserves your attention when you rush through lives. getting things done alone in life is not enough :/ and the cliche~ goes, 'look! Jesus never rushed!'

sigh, i'm 2...look at my profile to know my age la ya :p but heck, what's the trouble for? i'm 25 this year and probably 1/3 of my life is gone and what have i done that's significant? none that i can recall :/ how many things have i cherished? other than family and gf :/ nothing much either! i guess i do have a prob here. i'm on the -ve side of the equation for both!

sigh...wise up Leslie, wise up!

sticky issue...

salvation by grace through faith...but faith without works is dead..if we need works to prove our faith..how then can it still be salvation by grace? :)

sticky issue...

my own conclusion is..yes, salvation is indeed by grace through faith...and to answer faith without works is dead...is when our works is motivated by our inner attitude and character..for it is through these 2 elements that our action should examplify..maybe then it should be then 'faith without works; motivated by pure attitudes, motives and good characters' is dead...could it be that? :)

i'd say ultimately, it's really our heart and mind that God is seeking to change and He'd like to see it being said/ shown through our actions..being the only to prove that we are really changed..coz words..it's cheap and doesn't carry much weight :) nonetheless words are still important and it should be that our words and actions complement and supplement themselves

:) ahh...quite satisfied with that answer for myself..yea!

'get the tree sap of your hand, it's a sticky matter!'

it's tough

Lord, i know i shouldn't be running away from you..
Lord, i know i should face certain difficulties in the face..or at least learn to handle it..

Lord, it's tough...i know You know that i know You know that it's tough (not trying to be funny here but it's really the fact)

sigh..i hate to say this but i'm a failure..(at this point i remember this) but i choose to stay at this state..then i'm a REAL failure..how can i pick myself up? how?!

oh God, i'm weary of running..the things i do don't have your blessings....or at least how it seems..

Lord, i love You!

impatient!...still learning

sigh...seems like i'll still have to wait for another month or so :( nonetheless, time will fly by...fast

it's so easy to condemn oneself..it's so easy to look down on yourself and call yourself an 'IDIOT!' well, that may be a fact but it shouldn't be said in a condemning way. it should have been at least let that fact propels us to improve and better yourself and move on!

but how do you escape from being in the pity party you have thrown?!

getting the hang of it!

hey, not too bad for a pick up :) seems like i have a 1.8 DOHC Turbo inside me about blogging! good pick up and torque ;) anyway,...

yet again i feel like changing my blog title :P yes yes..this is not the 1st time i know..the thing is it's getting from lame to lamer! hah! who cares! it's MY blog :)

so i'm contemplating..should it be...
Fruits that's gone bad?
'nua-ed' fruits?
'nua-nua eh' Fruits?
Fruits that's become 'nua'?
*nua = rotten, soggy, bad, smelly... -ve attributes basically

'Choa-snui bok-kua' (Gone bad papaya - literally)
'Sze-kua bo tzee' (Watermelon no seed - literally)
'Tu-kao' Meng? (Where did this come from? :p)

This is all that i can think of for now...until i know how to change it :p then only will i decide which will i choose..hehehe...

LIke it or not...it's coming!

looking at my situation right now makes me understand the term 'chui su' or 'cari pasal' or finding fault so much better! :(

it may not be the best to say now but...like it or not..it's coming! and the result will be known in about 28 hours' time :/

no wishes for myself!

Stuff durians into my mouth! Coz that probably describes the state (not Penang) i'm in now...sucks!