Ups n downs

UPS! it's great when things in your life are on the 'up'! Money, work-life, social-life, relationship with family members and gf/wife...n not forgetting spiritual-life :)

it's just..great..the feeling..the knowledge n confidence you have knowing that you are heading towards the right direction, doing the right thing..it seems like..'yea man! i'm THERE! this is so right! so good!' 'I'm good!' is written all over your face kind of thing...

but on the contrary...

DOWNS! sigh..it's just..sigh! big time!wat's wrong? wat just was wrong?! have i caused it? have i unconsciously caused it?! if i did, sorry then. but to some, nope! that's not gd enuf! too bad..you will have to try harder!

of coz that's when things got wrong, a situation turned bad, relationship turned sour...but wat about something..this thing that's within the control of your 10fingers?! (not literally of coz)

sigh! yup..DOWN is really not gd..doesn't put u in the right frame of mind...all seems to be not working well for you...

and as for me?! yup..especially when something that touches my heart n i screw it all up! sigh...DOWN! not gd...

just not gd!

oh Lord, i have no more 'face' to come to You n ask for forgiveness..knowing full well your love n grace will embrace me over n over again only makes things worse! 'Get Your Holy Hands off me, Lord!' i cried..sometimes literally...but You wouldn't..just wouldn't...for thousand of years..Your beloved did the same..treated You the same...n thousand of years later..You reacted by..dying on the cruel Cross..all of us! all for me..to say it more selfishly :/

when will i change? when will my live show? when will my life reflect the glory of my Lord?!