it's funny

it's funny how i don't like to express myself to people and now i'm publishing in my blog!
1 thing people don't know who i really am is because i don't express myself..not to simply anybody though..but now.hhmm...i'm doing it over my blog!! gosh..how will ppl see me now? :)

oh well...let's see how will it turn out...

People say i look cool :/

People say i look cool when i don't smile..
People say i look like i've got a problem when i don't smile..
People say i look fierce when i don't smile..

people say this..people say that :) if only they could see what's really inside of me and tell me what i look like when i don't smile..

when i don't smile, i could be thinking
when i don't smile, it could be coz i have nothing to smile for
when i don't smile, it could be coz i don't feel like it
when i don't smile, it could be coz i don't like YOU! (i'm kidding..)

people don't know who i am inside..could it because i'm not showing who i am inside?
people don't know who i am inside..could it because they don't bother who i am inside?
people don't know who i am inside..could it because i don't want to admit who i am showing to them is the real who i am?

so will the real Leslie please stand up?

prayer

Lord, i do understand that when i'm lost..that's when i know you are in control
i do know that when i know i can do nothing..that's when You are doing something
i do know that when i'm weak..You are strong

Lord, i don't want everything to be just 'i know' but i feel, i'm confident and i can rest assured!

WHY!?

:/ no..not why i didn't update my blog for so long but why?! why is it that i'm feeling so lost?! not lost in an island but lost! Lost inside myself..i'm serving Him and He asks me to serve His people. this is a people business and it's so not easy. just because you carry a title, the pressure is on!

Lord, i'm crying out to you in my heart!
I cry inside but i smile outside,
I tried treating others like how You did,
and I realise it's not easy to be You!

I can feel as though i'm right by your side when you are alone in the garden..Lord! not my will be done but Yours! i can do nothing so please take over! not taking over the material chores but my feelings, emotions and reactions...